When guilt or blame feels overwhelming, this exercise helps you distribute responsibility fairly — and see that your slice is often much smaller than it feels.
Look beyond yourself to identify all the people, circumstances, and factors that contributed
Assign responsibility proportionally across all contributing factors — honestly and compassionately
Discover your actual share of responsibility, which is often far smaller than it first appears
Use your new perspective to ease guilt and shame and identify one constructive next step
This exercise is most helpful when you are experiencing guilt, shame, or excessive self-blame following a difficult situation. Work through each step honestly and compassionately. The goal is not to avoid responsibility — it is to see it clearly, in proportion, and in context.
Describe the situation that has been troubling you — one where you have been carrying a strong sense of guilt, blame, or responsibility.
List every person, circumstance, or organisation that played any part in the situation — no matter how small. Assign each one a percentage. Add yourself last. Try to reach 100% across all factors.
Your pie will appear here as you enter percentages
Now that you have distributed responsibility across all the contributing factors, take a moment to reflect honestly on what the pie reveals.