The Work of Byron Katie

Judge-Your-Neighbour Worksheet

Your stressful thoughts about others are a doorway to self-understanding. This worksheet helps you write them down clearly — so they can be investigated and turned around.

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Write It Down

Getting your uncensored judgments onto paper is the first act of inquiry. Don't hold back — be petty, be honest.

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Name the Person

Focus on one specific person and one specific recurring situation that causes you stress.

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Capture Everything

Your wants, needs, judgments, and fears all become material for investigation. Nothing is too petty or too painful.

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Prepare for Inquiry

Each statement you write can be investigated using The Work's four questions and turned around to reveal deeper truths.

How It Works

A step-by-step guide

Think of a recurring stressful situation involving someone who angers, confuses, saddens, or disappoints you. Work through each question using short, simple sentences.

Choose your situation

Pick a recurring stressful situation — one that may have happened once but replays in your mind. As you work through the questions, allow yourself to mentally revisit the time and place.

Question 1 — Who and why?

Name the emotion, the person, and the reason. "I am angry with Paul because he doesn't listen to me."

Question 2 — What do you want them to do?

Write exactly what you want them to change, say, or do. Be specific and honest.

Question 3 — What advice would you give them?

Write what they should or shouldn't do. This is your chance to be completely frank about what you think they need to hear.

Question 4 — What do you need from them?

To be happy in this situation, what do you need them to think, say, feel, or do?

Questions 5 & 6 — Your judgments and fears

List every judgment you have of this person — be petty and uncensored. Then name what you never want to experience again in this situation.

💡 Tip: Use short, simple sentences throughout. The goal is not to write a full account — it's to isolate each painful thought so it can be investigated one at a time.

Your Worksheet

Judge-Your-Neighbour

Fill in each section honestly. When you're done, click Save Worksheet to store your answers.

📝 Before you begin

Think of a recurring stressful situation — a situation that is reliably stressful even though it may have happened only once and recurs only in your mind. As you answer each question, allow yourself to mentally revisit the time and place of the stressful occurrence. Use short, simple sentences.

Question 1

In this situation, who angers, confuses, saddens, or disappoints you — and why?

Complete the sentence below. The name you enter here will appear throughout the worksheet.

I am with

because

Example: I am angry with Paul because he hurt me.

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Question 2

In this situation, how do you want them to change? What do you want them to do?

I want them to...

Example: I want Paul to see that he is wrong. I want him to stop lying to me.

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Question 3

In this situation, what advice would you offer to them?

They

should

shouldn't

...

Example: Paul should take a deep breath. He should calm down.

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Question 4

In order for you to be happy in this situation, what do you need them to think, say, feel, or do?

I need them to...

Example: I need Paul to hear me when I talk to him. I need him to take care of himself.

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Question 5

What do you think of them in this situation? Make a list.

Remember — be petty and judgmental. Don't hold back. This is private.

They is / are...

Example: Paul is unfair, arrogant, loud, dishonest, way out of line, and unconscious.

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Question 6

What is it about this situation that you don't ever want to experience again?

I don't ever want to...

Example: I don't ever want Paul to lie to me again. I don't ever want to see him ruining his health again.

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🔍 Now investigate each statement

Investigate each of the above statements using the four questions of The Work. Always give yourself time to let the deeper answers meet the questions. Then turn each thought around.

The four questions

Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to question 3.)
Can you absolutely know that it's true? (Yes or no.)
How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
Who would you be without the thought?

Then turn the thought around — to the self, to the other, and to the opposite. Find at least three genuine examples of how each turnaround is true. For statement 6, replace "I don't ever want to..." with "I am willing to..." and "I look forward to..."

Use the One Belief at a Time worksheet to investigate each statement in full.

🌿 Well done for completing the worksheet

You have named your judgments clearly and honestly. That takes courage. Each statement is now an invitation to inquiry — a chance to discover what's true beneath the story, and to find peace in a situation that once felt unbearable.